my own way

Im sitting late at night, in a computer, a machine that nowadays seems to be the most important thing to get when you´ve got a desk.

listening to john mayer, half of my heart is the song, he speaks about how his hearts goes to two differents ways.

so do mine

now is not so easy to be completely honest when i know people is reading the blog..
i guess is just the fear of not to be accepted..
anyway
i don´t care ( well maybe a bit, but is just by now.. as soon as i leave the safe harbour to experience the wild open sea, all this is gonna dissapear )

i know about the meaningless.. about the senseless. about the lack of order in my writings, about the lack of something clear, that i just write what it comes to me..
but thats the beauty thing.

because something inside everyone of us is speakin all the time.

all
the
time

in a place where everybody tells you how to think or to feel..
kind of " hey man! you should´nt think that, because blabalbalablab "
or " oh there´s no reason to feel bad.. "

WELL THERE IS!!!
THAT´S THE FUCKIN MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck if you want to cry go alone and cry fuck everything the loudest you can.

if it´s inside, is true.


there´s nothing from you that is doubtly truth.

there´s nothing that you can feel that can be wrong in you.

there´s nothing that you can say, that shouldn´t be said.

so if there´s follow it..
is gonna hurt.. i know
but i swear.. it all will be worth.


so to me is how i can not understand how somebody very beautiful inside, and outside gets married with a guy that is good... " good " but he doesn´t make her laugh.. he doesn´t make her happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he is not happy!!!!!!!!!!!!
COME ONNNN
even with his kid..
everyday we create something
something in somebody with our words and our acts.
what he creates.. is not good.

the thing is that i can not say.
i have to accept.
but i don´t

the only thing i can do is leave and go my own way.